Yesterday I completed my promotion packet to become a Sergeant. My Platoon/Section Leader, 1LT iPhone, asked me how I would react if I didn’t get promoted. I had to think for a second because I hadn’t considered the possibility of not getting back to E-5. I think I’d throw a serious pissed off fit for a day or two, calm down, and become even more focused on what I would need to do to become a Seargeant. I’ve seen to many sh*tbag NCO’s in my two years in the reserves. I know I can be a better NCO than them and actually maintain the standard like an NCO should. LT iPhone doesn’t think I won’t get promoted, he just likes to ask probing questions to see how people will react. He’s pretty good at it because sometimes I don’t catch him doing it until I’ve already reacted. At the beginning of October I just thought he was being a jerk when he said things like “I know you’re just an E-4, but what do you think about…,” then I recognized what he was doing. It’s a game I like to play every now and then.

Another thing the last two months taught me the value of the Army’s risk assessment.  The Army has a tool called the Travel Risk Planning System (TRiPS).  It the best example of cover your ass micromanagement i’ve ever witnessed in the Army.  The system is designed for soldiers getting ready to take a long trip in their privately owned vehicles (POV).  The TRiPS system asks a soldier various questions about the destination, how much sleep in the last 12 hours, if the solder has taken the Army’s silly Accident Avoidance class, and then questions about alcohol, medication and the weather.

Before you get worried about my safety, because safety is not a joke we are all the Safety OIC, my trip was a low risk.  It helped that I told it I would take a break every two hours and I got plenty of sleep the night before.  Thank you Army for making sure the risk in my travel was mitigated to the lowest, and only acceptable, level.

If the NCO Corps is the backbone of the United States Army, The Risk Assessment Matrix is the tailbone.

Here’s the serious story I did on Staff Sergeant Brian Raley.  My focus statement is “Brian loves Rocking.”

Brian Loves Rocking from Adam Stone on Vimeo.

Love my wife not Arkansas

Much Christmas Carbon

PFC Tyler Maulding took this photo of me for a story he wrote this past week. Please try not to get hyptonized by the power of my fivehead.

The Sorority Soldier posted her piece from our training on her new look website.  BTW - It’s a joke.  The CIA may have brought crack to the inner-cities of America, but the Sorority Soldier is only trying to do her part to shed some light upon the sad reality of crack cocaine addiction in America.

She also did this serious piece on PFC Tyler Maulding.  He’s a good guy from Seattle who has an impressive photography portfolio.  He swears he doesn’t know everything because he’s 19.  He authorized me to point out when he acts like he knows everything because he’s 19.  It’s going to be a fun year for me

I have another story I’m showing today.  I don’t think i’m going to edit it anymore, but I figure I should get a good critique on it first.  I’m thinking my writing is going to hold me back unless I work on it some more.

I got to missing the wife the other night when I got to hear Mr. and Mrs. Sassypants have a “discussion” on the phone.  It wasn’t the “discussion” that made me miss her.  It was when he told her they would “talk about it when he got home” that made me miss her and really start to count the days until I got home.  It was like this when I was in Maryland for three months.  When I was about a week-and-a-half from leaving, the anticipation about killed me.  I’ve been away for about half that time, but the anticipation is about the same.

One of my new nightly routines is to head to the Arkansas National Guard MWR building (it’s the national guard PX/BX) with SGT Tigers and  PFC Yo Lo Tango to get on the wireless internet. The barracks we stay in are close enough to the wi-fi zone for me to see the signal, but not close enough to stay on the internet.  While I was here I happened to mention Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.  Yo Lo Tango said “I saw that book in the book store.  I read what they said about Indie music and I thought to myself ‘these guys get it.’  Then I read further and saw they were making fun of indie music.  I almost bought the book, I hate them now.”  The post on indie music is funny because Yo Lo Tango and I had a conversation along these exact lines while we were in Fort Dix a few weeks ago.  Is it wrong that I took pleasure in the fact that he had been properly sterotyped by stuffwhitepeoplelike.com?  If it’s wrong….I don’t want to be right

The above photo by SPC Darryl Montgomery is half of the broadcast section.  From left to right, SGT Kristen King, SPC Daniel Sullivan, and SSG Brian Raley at Pennicle Mountain in Arkansas.

• My wife Leslie
• Laying on my couch with my wife watching TV
• Being able to walk into the kitchen and get something to eat

I’m pretty sure I’m going to have many more things I miss when I get outside the country.  Until that time those are the top three.  I can not wait to get back to Fort Worth on Friday.  It has only been a little over a month-and-a-half since I left, but I really miss the city.  I am excited about hitting up the Air Force vs. TCU game this Saturday.  They had a disappointing loss last Thursday against Utah.  The only way I can describe it is a missed opportunity.  They could be in the driver’s seat for a BCS bowl game, instead I’m hoping BYU can beat Utah and there’s a three-way tie for the Mountain West Conference.  I have no idea how they break that tie.  It should be a good game that will be overshadowed by the BIGGEST GAME TO EVER HIT NORMAN OKLAHOMA!!! IT’S THE RED RAIDERS OF TEXAS TECH INVADING NORMAN TO PLAY THE SOONERS OF OKLAHOMA IN PRIME TIME ONLY ON A—B—CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC.  How was my impression of the ESPN hype machine?  Did I even come close.  It’s a big game, but I know there have been a few #1 vs. #2 games when Nebraska came to town.  This game doesn’t match some of those old games.

Things I’m not going to miss about Arkansas:

• Golden Corral for dinner every night
• Our higher command treating us to “heater meals” for lunch
• Certain Staff Sergeants who do what they want

The story goes a little like this.  Apparently our orders for our time at Fort Dix were a day short.  This certain Staff Sergeant decided that he didn’t have to come back to Arkansas with the rest of the unit.  See, he didn’t think we were on orders because we are currently getting paid like we are on 14 drill weekends in a row.  I’ve never experienced something as convoluted as getting paid in the reserves.  Maybe foreign nationals entering the United States legally is more convoluted, but I think the system of paying soldiers in a reserve status is pretty bad.  I digress.  He thought that he could go back to his job because he didn’t want to “sit around the office in Arkansas.”  When our plane landed at DFW (29 miles from my house), a certain Staff Sergeant bought his own plane ticket and headed home.  I can only speculate he did it because he missed his momma’s nipple.

A few days later he finally called the unit, after repeated attempts to contact him by our leadership.  He learned we were under some other type of order and after a few days returned to Little Rock.  This Staff Sergeant never admitted he was wrong by flying home.  He did what he wanted to regardless of his rank or leadership role.  At this point, I’m going to try and watch what I say because it will be all opinion.  The above are facts as I know them.  I’m finding the reserves is even more full of people with rank who don’t take any pride in their position and haven’t earned their rank.  When I was a Sergeant on active duty in the late 90’s, I loved it.  I took pride in my team, my soldiers, and my job.  Being a Sergeant in the United States Army was the single most rewarding job I’ve ever had.  To see this Staff Sergeant bring shame upon the NCO Corps, his rank, and himself, made me sick on the inside.  He will forever be filled away in my head of how not to act when I’m in a leadership role again.

BTW - This certain Staff Sergeant is not deploying with us now.  Our commander found a way to summarily kick him out of the unit.  I hope some bad paperwork finds him.  Any public affairs units getting ready to deploy and you’re getting a Staff Sergeant, shoot me a line.  I’ll fill you in.  I’m taking it upon myself to make sure everyone knows what sort of leader they are about to receive.

I’m going to write later on this week about the good training we’ve had this past week.  I realize I’ve been airing some dirty laundry this past week, but it’s all part of the deployment process.  Other than having to see him again, it’s been a good week in Arkansas.  I am in the middle of writing a story about SSG Brian Raley and how much he likes the game Rockband.  I’ll post that when it’s done tomorrow.  I have a funnier piece I may post I did last week, but the writing was very weak.  I may show it once something better is up.

Founding Brothers — This is a fantastic book by Joseph T. Ellis.  He tells five stories essential to the revolutionary generation.  I just completed the chapter on the origins of President George Washington’s Farewell Address.  It’s fascinating to read where Washington’s head was at when he wrote the piece that was the guiding light for American foreign and domestic policy for the next century.  He was rumored to have told those around him he was not going to seek a third term.  The highly controversial Jay Treaty was just confirmed by the Senate.  One thing I’ve noticed about this author and David McCullough, who wrote John Adams, is they are not fans of Thomas Jefferson.  In fact, they seem to find him always sitting in his ivory tower called Monticello using others to criticize Washington and Adams.  It’s a great book recommended by my wife, Leslie, and her sister, Susan.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy — by Douglass Adams This is a fun book about a human who is rescued from the earth just before it’s destroyed.  Of course it was destroyed because of a very necessary intergalactic highway.  I read this book over ten years ago and it’s a real quick and funny read.

Bloody Confused! – by Chuck Culpepper A cynical American Sportswriter rediscoveres what it means to be a true fan after his move to England.  He discovers the wonder and spectacle of the English Premier League.  Culpepper gets to England towards the end of the 2005 season.  He feels he can’t “choose” a popular team, although later he’s told by true fans that “you can’t choose your team.”  In the EPL the bottom three teams are dropped to make room for the three teams promoted from the league below.  Culpepper tries to watch as many relegation fixtures as he can.  At the end of the year he falls in love with a small team from Portsmouth.  He ends up attending a ton of home and away games in his quest to become a real fan.  The biggest tragedy I feel is he doesn’t make Pompy friends until the second half of the season.  He doesn’t understand the English fan until he meets a man dressed as a blue bear.  It’s a fine book, but the author spends a little too much time amazed at himself that he can lose all sense of reality by being a true fan.

Future Potential Reading List

1. East of Eden by John Steinbeck
2. The Street Without Joy by Bernard Fall
3. Hell’s Angels by Hunter S. Thompson
4. The Spy Who Came in From the Cold by John le Carre
5. The Right Stuff by Tom Wolfe

I’ve been immersed in military talk lately and I’ve read quite a few books on war the last few months.  I’m looking to get away from them for a bit.  The one related to France’s hellish war in Indochina is The Street Without Joy.  It sounds like the feel-good story of the year.

I’m always reading the blogs in my Daily Reading List.

If you have any suggestions, please leave them in the comments.

I usually let Adam be the spokesman for our household. His opinions are more interesting, he enjoys sharing his thoughts with others, and I think that he really enjoys the attention. I’m just fine with letting Adam be the center of attention but he’s asked me to give his faithful readers a little wife update.

Having your spouse away from home for long periods of time is never easy or fun. Luckily, there are many friends and family close to home who check in on me often. I have weekly dinners at my sister’s house, which takes care of human interaction and me not having to cook and yet getting a very yummy home cooked meal. The puppies do a good job of indulging me in a good snuggle. Adam doesn’t believe me, but I’m convinced that the dogs are missing their dad. We’ve had some weird behavior issues with both dogs that I’m convinced have come from their distress at our broken home status. Adam is trying to convince me it’s just because the alpha dog has left the house and they’re trying to run all over me. I’m pretty sure I’m right on this one.

I’ve really enjoyed going to see Adam in Little Rock and getting to know some of the folks from his unit. I’ve also gotten to know a few of the significant others of those in the unit, LSU Hater, Top’s Wife and Mrs. SassyPants. Everyone is so friendly and lots of fun to be around. I know that Top’s Wife and Mrs. SassyPants are doing a good job of looking after Adam while he’s in Little Rock. Mrs. SassyPants was even kind enough to let Adam play Rock Band with her husband at their house. She is a brave woman to let Adam have a microphone and an excuse to sing at the top of his lungs. God bless her!

I’ve had some excess time on my hands since Adam’s away. This has been my chance to watch a lot of girly TV and movies. Friends, Gilmore Girls, and Jon and Kate plus 8 are in heavy rotation on my TV schedule. I’m also watching tons of college football. I’ve had some very, very lame games on just because I can without listening to Adam complain about how worthless the teams are. My sister has also been kind enough to keep me busy with a big stack of books from her personal library. I’m currently working on Julie & Julia: 365 days, 524 recipes, 1 tiny apartment kitchen. It’s incredibly amusing! Julie just tried to make eggs in a jelly made from calf’s hoof. Apparently, it’s just as disgusting as it sounds. It’s been very nice to just sit and read for hours at a time. When Adam’s gone it seems like my social calendar is much emptier than when he’s at home. Such a social butterfly!

I’m very much looking forward to having Adam home again for the Thanksgiving holiday. I can’t wait to go to the final TCU home football game with him, hang out and do a whole lot of nothing, and visit our families for the holiday. We get about 10 or 11 days together before he heads back to training. I plan on spending lots of disgusting couple’s time together telling him how cute he is and how much I love him. If we’re lucky we’ll be so cute together that we’ll gross out our newlywed friends who are going to the TCU game with us. If we can out schmoopy (Seinfield reference) a couple that’s been married not even a month, I think we have a real talent.

Now that the nice things to say are out of the way, I’m not impressed with the mission and output of their broadcasters.  The video they sent over showing us our future office and area was amateurish at best.  It was only a step above a home movie because I know they can do better.  I think they put it together hastily, but there were many shaky camera shots, the script was full of big words and seemed more of an opportunity to show off their ability to use a dictionary/thesaurus instead of writing an understandable and conversational script.  The worst part is they put a stand-up in the piece and used the mic on the camera in a very large room.  This was bad because the sound was very poor quality and has an echo.  Also, this female was sitting in a chair and all you could see was her head and shoulders in the bottom quarter of the screen.  At the end of the piece, I couldn’t believe they sent that piece to allow another public affairs unit to view.  I’d love to show it, but it’s full of OPSEC violations and for official use only.  I will always remember it so I’ll never put out a product like that.  It was a youtube turd that couldn’t be polished.

The commander of the unit was very proud of his print section.  His silence on what he didn’t say about his broadcasters was deafening.  A huge issue I have is they have their broadcasters deployed to other units for weeks and months at a time.  They augment public affairs units that are understaffed.  I’m not thrilled about this because he has some soldiers he hasn’t seen for months.  I’m worried their way of doing business fragments the unit and the soldiers don’t have each other to lean on for support.  This is my first deployment so I may be worried about nothing.  I should probably refrain from saying all this because nothing has been decided on how our unit will handle the workload or how we’ll be deployed across the country.  Oh, and I’m also an E-4 and it’s not my decision.  If our commander decides to do the same thing, I’ll of course say, “roger that,” pack up my gear, and make the best of it.  The good part about all of this is that as a video broadcaster it looks like we’ll only be limited by our time and creativity.  That’s the most exciting thing about this deployment.

I can’t emphasize how great it was to see my wife, Leslie, this past weekend.  The phone is nice and all, but it doesn’t work on a physical or spiritual level like being in person.  We were talking on the phone Tuesday night about whether these monthly visits help relieve our need for each other or make it worse.  Leslie’s answer is that it depends on the day, but that doesn’t mean we are going to pass up an opportunity to see each other.  We are already looking forward to the Air Force @ TCU game we both get to attend on November 22nd at Amon Carter Stadium in Fort Worth.

One fun thing from this weekend was getting to hang out with the Sorority Soldier and her boyfriend, LSU Haterade (He grew up in Shreveport, but hates LSU because of the SEC college FOOTBAWW bandwagon).  These two remind me a lot of Leslie and I after we were dating for a few months.  They are completely in love and are really made for each other.  We found out all sorts of fun facts about LSU Haterade.  My favorite is that he doesn’t style his thick locks of hair.  He just washes it, throws in some leave-in conditioner, and then messes it up.  Am I jealouse of his hair?….yes.  I’ve had a serious case of hair lust over the past year since I noticed my skin yamika two years ago.  Look at this photo to get an idea of his lucious locks of hair.  **Side note** LSU Haterade, is this now the gay blog for real? **Side Note End** I did end up pulling a big brother move on the LSU Haterade and talked to him for a bit away from everyone about he and his girlfriend.  It probably wasn’t my place because I haven’t known her that long.  We are deploying together and everyone in the unit sees how happy she is when she thinks and talks about the LSU Hater, which is every chance she can get.  I wanted to man-test his level of commitment and he passed the test.  I think I had a talk like that with my brother-in-law, but I may have been too busy giving him a hard time.  I wasn’t around early enough in that relationship to have the “are you really serious talk”.  Captain Obvious says the next year is going to be very tough.

“In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.”

John McCrae ~ “In Flanders Fields“

The British Commonwealth use Remembrance Day as their Memorial Day.  Check out The Royal British Legion’s Poppy Appeal Page.

Most of the unit got back to Arkansas just fine.  We’ve had some drama with one particular Non-commissioned Officer.  I really want to give the part of the story I know, make them look bad, and then post a photo of him and write something nasty on it Perez Hilton style.  I don’t because it wouldn’t be professional, but to those in the unit, always know I’m capable of being that unprofessional in my head.

Leslie made another Billgrimage to Little Rock.  She met me at the airport and we had a very Little Rock weekend.  We met most of the unit at the Flying Saucer on Saturday night and then had a “couples brunch” at a swanky restaurant called “Loco Luna.”

Pay Update:  I still feel DFAS is a bunch of incompetent bureaucrats.  I did get paid at the end of the month, and the Sorority Soldier blog got us paid our full BAH rate instead of the rip-off BAH II (which is far less money).  Apparently someone up the chain-of-command saw her post about not getting paid and made us whole.  I would like to thank this person by name, but no one will tell us who they are.

I don’t have much to say right now other than that.  I’m trying to plot a course for this blog’s future.  Right now I feel it’s only a personal journal.  I like that, but I want it’s reach to go a little further than being a family newsletter.  I got the idea from the Small Wars Journal, who linked to a research project by MAJ Jakob Bruhl.  I plan on doing some things along the lines of “Why I love America.”  I touched on it a little while I was at Fort Meade, but I want to make it a series.  I’ve been reading the book Founding Brothers and it makes me proud what the revolutionary generation endured.  Then reading that book made me think of JFK’s Inaguration Speech. Much of it I feel is relevant for today.

In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility—I welcome it. I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who serve it—and the glow from that fire can truly light the world.

And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.

My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.

This was a man who loved America.  I just want to make it cool to love America.  Then again, I was cool before cool was cool…..

Me, before cool was cool.....

And now more gratuitous photos…..

SSG Wilson Rivera binge eating before the flight to Fort Dix, NJ.

SPC Erik Fardette of the 211th MPAD showing how to wear his IBA (Improved Body Armor)

PFC Ty Maulding in his natural state....sleeping.

The cadre this day decided they were TCU fans by popping purple smoke.

The first day was fun because we learned how to exit a HMMWV after a rollover.  They put five soldiers in a vehicle and flipped it three to five times.  One of the catches is that the gunner doesn’t have a seat or a seat belt.  It’s the responsibility of the two soldiers in the back seats to grab the gunner and hold on to him so he doesn’t go flying around the cabin.  I was surprised how disoriented I was when the vehicle was upside-down.  I didn’t have an issue finding the door handle.  My issue was finding the seatbelt release.  That’s when my lifehammer would come in handy.

HMMWV Rollover Simulator

The second day out there we rolled out in a convoy where everything was designed to go wrong.  Our convoy commander was SSG Pall Mall.  He has years of infantry experience and knows a lot about how units should move in a tactical manner from one point to another.  Some men have a passion for sports, photography, women, etc.  SSG Pall Mall has a passion for smoking, hence his fake name.  Our biggest priority he stressed was communication and security.  His own personal priority was drinking an interesting amount of Red Bull and Monster energy drinks.  We started out the morning with seven vehicles and six working radios.  By the time we were ready to begin the lane, four vehicles had radios.  The first two vehicles didn’t own one of those working radios.  That made communication a challenge.  During this training I got to be a gunner protruding out of the top of the HMMWV. It was our job as gunners to use hand signals and yell as much information as we could down the convoy line.  We kept it real basic like thumbs up down the line and had one signal for an IED.  The rest of the time we yelled at the top of our lungs.  We encountered the enemy several times on this lane, but no one entered my sector of fire.  It’s especially important for gunners to watch their area of responsibility even when shots are being fired elsewhere.  Since no threat walked into my lane, I never got to fire my weapon.  It was a sad day.

On Wednesday we rolled into a real fake Iraqi city where cadre and our officers acted like civilians on the battlefield and insurgents.  For a guy with no experience it was some nerve wracking training.  We head into a place I’m unfamiliar with where some of the people look friendly, but I know something bad is going to happen.  It wouldn’t be much of a training exercise if we didn’t have something go unexpected/wrong.  We get to our destination and dismount.  I’m on the ground walking around trying not to be an easy target for a sniper while keeping in good communication with my gunner.  We’re watching two guys wave at us from a building when we hear shots fire from behind.  I hit the ground immediately alert and I hear my gunner shooting telling me there’s an enemy agent at our 10 o’clock.  He’s laying down fire while I’m keeping an eye on those two guys.  Suddenly we get an order to remount (get back in the vehicle) and our gunner is still firing like he gets paid for every round he expends.  Our biggest problem was encountered at this point because we wait for literally three minutes before we got word that we needed to roll out.  In the after action review (AAR) bad radio etiquette was blamed for us taking so long to get the command to roll out of the area.  Everyone was trying to talk at once on the radio and the convoy commander couldn’t get a status of the vehicles before he moved out.

Now that this phase of our training is over, I have to say I’m pretty pleased with the training itself.  It’s very hard to do this sort of tactical training two days a month in a reserve unit.  Much less a public affairs reserve unit.  Every weapons range we fired at was well run and void of most range BS.  RTC-East uses mobilized drill sergeants as instructors and range safeties.  They were good patient instructors who ran a damn good range.  My unit and I learned quite a bit at this training.  The drill sergeants try to give us as little death-by-powerpoint as they can.  The only thing I have to bitch about is the US Army Reserve keeping us on orders that don’t exceed 30 days so they don’t have to pay us the proper benefits, read about it here.  Oh and DFAS letting us go a month without being paid for no reason.  BTW - As of November 12th, I should be paid in full for my time from October 6th to November 7th.

My best tip for those attending training at RTC-E in the winter months is to bring some cold weather gear for the first couple of days you’re here.  The cold weather gear is issued on the forth day.  We were cold walking to the classroom those first few days.  Also, don’t expect to get issued any new uniforms.

I’ve gotten to know a lot of folks in the 343rd really well.  I’m really excited about this unit and can’t wait to see how we perform when we’re deployed.  We all seem to be in agreement that we need some collective time away from each other.  We share a small room with four grown men.  We share a bathroom.  When we are in the field we shared a 14-man tent.  I need some “me” time.

Reader Note: If I don’t mention someone by name and talk in general terms, the chances are very good I’m not talking about someone in this unit or someone you know in the 343rd MPAD.  I’ve had experience with military personnel since 1997.  I have a lot of stories.  I didn’t have any one person or situation in mind when I wrote my last post.  I can see how I didn’t make that clear.  Spouses of the 343rd MPAD, I wasn’t talking about anyone in this unit.

Update: Debraleemakes a great point that I can’t believe I forgot.  During our training at the fake Iraqi city, she got a hard lesson in how a HMMWV doesn’t exactly turn on a dime.  The route that got us out of the area included a very small alleyway that was about as wide as a HMMWV.  Debralee was the driver and her security point was very near this entry area.  When it was her turn to head down this narrow corridor, she didn’t give herself enough room to turn.  She was also worried about a plastic chair and instead ran into some concertina wire and a building.  She then proceeded to make a 25-point turn worrying about the chair even though we were under fire.  Trust me it’s funny and she brought this story upon herself by bringing it up.  The lesson today kids is, be careful what you wish for.  The Sorority Soldier has a word or two about leaving Fort Dix here.

I just want everyone to know I miss my wife.  I get to see her on the seventh in Little Rock!

Adam and Leslie at Tacky Christmas

And now gratuitous photos…

The only thing I like in this photo is my wedding ring. The body armor, which is know isn't as heavy as it used to be, hurts my back along with my slung weapon and my kevlar helmet, now called an ACH (Army Combat Helmet).

G.I. Joe, a.k.a. SSG Dave Lankford during an AAR.

SGT Derek Smith in the foreground and PFC Ty Maulding in the background holding out the M16. SPC Debralee Crankshaw is sitting on the ground.

The topic is fresh in my mind because I’m meeting a lot of new people in this unit.  I’ve heard so many stories about guys getting cheated on and then also guys being adulterers while deployed.  It’s a topic I’ve made sure to discuss with others in my unit like SGT Tigers (who is totally in love with a real nice guy many of us thought was homeless when we first met him in Little Rock) and my wife, Leslie.  My wife and I are going to have a lengthy time apart with only a year of marriage under our belts.  I haven’t run into a person who has been able to say this time away was easy.  Then again, no one has ever told me that marriage is easy.  Leslie and I do many things to work on our relationship while I’m away.  We talk on the phone, she visits me when she can, and we keep in touch by email and our own secret blog/diary.  We also have complete trust in each other when we are apart.  I also try not to do things that could be perceived as cheating.  I’m not stressing about perception because our unit is small and there’s no way infidelity within the unit could be hidden for long.  Nevertheless, it’s best to never get in that situation.

All this comes up because of a conversation I had last night with one of my new favorite people, SGT Maryland (fake name).  One soldier he and I were talking to last night said that he told his fiance, “I don’t plan on cheating on you when I’m deployed, but I can’t predict the future.”  Maryland and I were stepping all over each other to tell him that he can predict the future by making a real commitment to his future spouse.  He was also totally rationalizing his behavior by saying “you know, what ever happens, happens.”  Then Maryland went on to explain to this soldier that in his current relationship he knows it’s up to him to mess it up because he knows his girlfriend is very loyal (reminds me of Leslie).  I was most excited about this news because this brings the committed and happy relationship count up to at least 5 or 6 in the 343rd.  Also, SGT Maryland puts up a nice tough-guy-take-no-sh*t persona.  The more I know him, the more I feel he’s a real good guy.  We gave out a ton of free advice.  I hope it wasn’t too much.

The Sorority Soldier wrote a fun piece last week about the “You know how I know you are gay” game we don’t play much any more.  **If you are offended by our game, it’s really too bad.  I ask that you be open-minded enough to respect our methods of poking fun at each other.**  One of the fun ideas that came up during lunch was if a man had breast implants, would it be gay for another guy to feel them?  We had two distinct camps.  Half the guys, led by SGT Danny Zuko (fake name) started out by saying, “Boobs are boobs no matter where they are placed.”  This is also the guy who knows every word to Grease and Grease 2, not that I’m judging.  The other camp led by SGT Tiger who doesn’t really participate in the game, unless she has a good one, pipped up, “It’s totally gay because the boobs are on a guy.  Two guys feeling each other up is gay!”  The other camp didn’t budge, but SGT Tigers got the other half on her side and a decision wasn’t reached.  I’m on her side.

BTW-The Sorority Soldier needs a prayer or two.  Her and another girl are the only two females in our unit.  They are lucky that they have so many big brothers.  On the other hand, they have to put up with a tsunami of toilet humor.  We try and stop ourselves, but sometimes they can only hold on to something secure as the toilet humor washes ashore.

And now a gratuitious photo because I wanted to post this last night.

Most of the Broadcasters in the 343rd MPAD